No Smoking on Board: Boards And Bikinis ...reviewed by Emma Jade Gunn

No Smoking on Board: Boards And Bikinis

eg music - surf rock music reviews by Emma Jade Gunn

...by Emma Jade Gunn

Hubba, hubba, hubba! Five gorgeous guys from Portugal! And they're musicians!

The five gorgeous guy musicians are:
Carlos Ariz - Bass/Vox
Filipe "Paganini" - Drums
Oscar Gomes - Guitar
Pedro Moreira - Vox/Guitar
Toze Ferreira - Guitar/Vox

On this album, special mention goes to Pedro Vidal - Acoustic/pedal steel guitar and assorted noises. Pedro is probably gorgeous, too. He must be, he's on Boards And Bikinis.

No Smoking on Board: Band Photo

How do I know they're all gorgeous? That's easy math, even for me - Great album + great music = five gorgeous guys ... six, if you count Pedro. Besides, look at the picture!

I've got to put Portugal on my must-visit-soon list. I want to feed those guys grapes and cool them with palm fronds. Oops, I didn't just say that, did I? Well, maybe I did. It's true. I do.

I want you to know this because my beach chick friends and I have these secret fantasies. Wait until they get a load of No Smoking on Board's Boards And Bikinis. My friends will be bustin' their own boards and bikinis.

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Bikini Drag - "I like a girl in a bikini. No concealed weapons." And, of course, No Smoking on Board's not-too-concealed weapon is quick wit mixed with some kewl picking and drumming. Bikini Drag rocks so hard I almost took up head banging. Since I like my brain bucket stirred, not shaken, I shook everything else instead.

Boards And Bikinis - Summer means fun and leave the city and all that stuff. Let's all go and feel the summer. Sounds like me and my favorite hobby, that's for sure. Oh, oh, oh.... yes! This used to be the song that summed up my (and probably your) life. Then an epiphany! Certain it was the right thing to do, I opted out, dropped in and caught the wave. It was the right thing to do. Somehow the Portugal Dudes knew that. How cool!

Shark Reef - I have this thing about hammerhead sharks. Duke at Surf Rock Music could explain it if I wouldn't have to kill him for doing so - let's just say it wasn't one of my best moments. Shark Reef has a lot of those hammerhead moments of dark, rich, gut-wrenching, if-I-don't-get-out-of-here-fast-I'm-going-to-be-eaten thoughts. And it made me get over the hammerhead thing because it's also peppy and fun, fun, fun! The glissandos in Shark Reef remind me of the cool, early sounds of Dave Myers & The Surftones.

Wave Hog - Uber cool instro intro followed by, "...Wave Hog, he's always hoggin' the wave. Wave Hog, he needs a watery grave..." I met this dude once who took my wave. The guy had no class, bad hair, bad posture and, worse, he was mean to me. He dropped in and I thought he should be taught a lesson - which I would have done if I hadn't wiped out right as I had the thought. I have a suggestion for Wave Hog: Let's all get a copy and blast every creepazoid hog with it every time we can! We can start a tradition. Everyone will turn and look at the door every time Wave Hog plays so we can see who to give the damp shoulder to for the rest of the night.

Stop That Gremmie - Hot drum intro followed by hot everything else. Stop That Gremmie is awash in a sea of reverb! Play it only if you don't need to sleep. 'Nuff Said! Except hot, hot, hot. And, believe me, Emmie has spent a lifetime learning what is really, truly HOT.

Sound of the Surf Guitar - A tribute to Dick Dale oldies and ever-so-goodies. One of the best versions I've ever heard. You have to love this song or you're, well, brain dead. Of special note are the guitars in the background. Par excellance!

Run Mustang Run - Listen to those squealing tires and that muscle car engine! I need a copy of Run Mustang Run for my friend Sam who is absolutely in love with Mustangs. He's going to drive even faster - if possible - when he channels this through his sound system. Egads, this song rocks!!! Half way through is a bit that sets the pavement on fire. (PS to Sam. I can still take you in my 'Vette. You know I can. Yes, you do, even though you will never admit it.)

Beat Out My Love - I can't quite put my finger on it, but the lead singer makes me all shaky in a very, very good way. Have I ever told you about the Gorilla Dance? My friends and I do it when we get too much caffeine. I think I want him there for the Gorilla Dance. Ooooo! Ooooo!

10 Waves of Bad Surf - Monster instrumental! Great double picking, deep reverb and all of the cool things that make surf rock ... SURF ROCK!

Surfing with Bo Diddley - Welcome to the Emma Jade Loves SurfBo Fan Club. On our right we have The Big One, Sir Diddley. On our left we have righteous drums. In the center we have mondo cool guitars and lyrics. Okay, are you ready? Bo Diddley meets Surf Rock. How cool is that? ROCK IT!

The Haunted Wind - Warning: The Haunted Wind causes heart tremolo. Use with caution. Overuse may lead to surf guitar addiction. Abso-freakin'-lutely beautiful. Incredibly ethereal, haunting and ... well ... Abso-freakin'-lutely beautiful.

Comanche - Strong... like the Comanches. Brave... like the Comanches. Honorable... like the Comanches.

Bonus Track - Ambient big surf sounds. It starts with softness that intensifies to waves rushing the sands of time. This isn't a song; it's an experience. I didn't make that up. It's true. What you have here is three minutes and one second of pure, beautiful sound. If it weren't for the fact I have a real passion for sexy voices, this would be my "go to sleep" sound.

April Skies - There's that voice again! What am I going to do with this guy? He's singing, "...there's one thing I couldn't do, sacrifice myself to you..." That's okay because I'm not into sacrifice anyway. Just keep singing! Got it? Okay! Neat instro chorus.

Kizmiaz - No Smoking On Board offer a delicious rendition of a favorite, The Cramps' Kizmiaz. Solid, but sensual as one wants from a song that proclaims, "Palm trees wave over tropical seas of azure waves and lazy breeze." The perfect ending to the perfect CD. I love you guys!

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How would I sum up my thoughts on No Smoking on Board's Boards And Bikinis? Another easy question with an easy answer... What guitars! What drums! What voices! What a great CD!

No Smoking on Board: Boards And Bikinis
01) Bikini Drag	Pyramids version © Gary Usher and Roger Christian	2:06
02) Boards and Bikinis	original © Antonio Jose Ferreira	2:46
03) Shark Reef	original © Antonio Jose Ferreira	2:34
04) Wave Hog	Phantom Surfers version © Phantom Surfers - thank you Mel Bergman	3:15
05) Stop That Gremmie	original © Antonio Jose Ferreira	1:59
06) Sound of the Surf Guitar	Adaptation from Dick Dale song © Alonzo Willis, Antonio Jose Ferreira	2:42
07) Run Mustang Run	original © Antonio Jose Ferreira	3:38
08) Beat Out My Love	Lee Dresser version © Lee Dresser	2:22
09) 10 Waves of Bad Surf	original © Antonio Jose Ferreira	2:17
10) Surfing with Bo Diddley	original © Antonio Jose Ferreira	3:19
11) The Haunted Wind	original © Antonio Jose Ferreira	2:56
12) Comanche	Link Wray version © Link wray	2:10
Bonus Track	Ambient big surf sounds	3:01
13) April Skies	The Jesus and the Mary Chain version © Reid James McLeish and Reid William Adam	3:32
14) Kizmiaz	The Cramps version © Lux Interior and Poison Ivy Rorschach	5:02

No Smoking on Board
http://www.nosmokingonboard.com
© No Smoking on Board 2012

A Reverb or Bust Recording
http://www.reverborbust.com